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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. WHAT IS IT
... Although most people think domestic violence is about anger, it really is about instilling fear and wanting to have power and control over the person or the relationship. It is the use of violence and aggression. The abuser may use varying tactics to gain power and control. Once abuse starts, it usually gets worse if steps are not taken to stop it.
Domestic violence often starts with threats, name-calling, and slamming doors or breaking dishes, and escalates to pushing, slapping, and other violent acts that can lead to a crime.
ONE OF THE FIRST STEPS IN DEALING WITH ABUSE IS
TO IDENTIFY IT.
... Identifying domestic violence is difficult because it can manifest itself in different forms: Physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse. When it occurs between spouses, partners, and relatives, or in a dating relationship, it is called domestic abuse or domestic violence.
Domestic violence and family abuse is complex. It can occur in a number of circumstances and in a range of ‘family’ settings and can take the form of abuse of the elderly, sibling abuse, violence between same-sex couples, adolescent and children being violent towards parents, caregivers and teachers, caregivers being violent towards elders or people with a disability, or female to male partner violence. In the overwhelming majority of cases, family violence is perpetrated by males against their female partners.
....It may not be easy to identify abuse, especially at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. For example, abuse may begin with occasional hurtful comments, jealousy or controlling behavior. As it gets worse, the abuse may become more frequent, severe or violent. Domestic violence is part of a continuing cycle that's difficult to break. As the cycle of abuse worsens, the person’s safety or the safety of the children may be in danger.
THREAT AND CONTROL ARE THE TWO KEY ELEMENTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE:
... Domestic violence is any kind of behavior that a person uses, or threatens to use, to control an intimate partner. Though there are no typical victims of domestic violence, abusive relationships do share similar characteristics. In all cases, the abuser aims to exert power and control over his partner.
FEAR AND MAKING AN ABUSE REPORT
... Social isolation can provide a clue that a family may be in trouble, and it also can be a risk factor for abuse. Social isolation can be a strategy for keeping abuse secret. Isolation is dangerous because it cuts off family members from outside help and support they need. Studies show that the highest risk for serious injury or death from violence in an intimate relationship is at the point of separation or at the time when the decision to separate is made. Victims of domestic violence are reluctant to report abuse.
.....In an abusive situation, many battered women will try to solve the problem by talking it out with the abuser, by fighting back, or by trying to change their behavior to meet the demands of the abuser (of course, then the demands change). When they fail to stop the abuse, women may become passive, which may reduce the immediate danger, or may go into a state of emotional withdrawal and depression.
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